IN MY ANNUAL REVIEW, as usual, I measure the year’s successes and failures and what I learned from them. “The days are long but the years are short,” says author Gretchen Rubin. It’s incredible how much can happen in one short year. Here’s a review of 2018, hoping that it serves as a blueprint for myself (and you) to guide us into the new year.

TRAVEL

As a travel addict, it’s really hard to swallow the concept of one big trip per year. I used to book random trips the same way a shopaholic clicks “Add to Cart”.

2018 was different because Jovi and I booked one big, hairy, and ambitious 3-week holiday in Paris, Switzerland, Rome, Milan, and Florence. It was so expensive, it took us a year to save.

All being said, what did I really take away? A few things:

1. The best moments of trips are during downtime or when you’re alone or lost. I broke down in tears after stepping solo inside Milan’s Duomo, gripped by the church’s massive, holy interiors preserved in perfection. I talked about it on Atlas Obscura, a platform that features the world’s unique wonders.

2. I planned the trip the obsessed way, down to train seats per country and discount Metro tickets. It was downright exhausting. What’s the upside? It improved my research skills, going as far as asking Lonely Planet forums to get Swiss train travel advice.

[WATCH: Bernina Express, Riding One Of the World’s Most Scenic Train Rides]

3. When traveling with family or with a partner, schedule time to be apart. Some of my most thrilling travel experiences happened when I was simply by myself. One was in Paris’ Republique neighborhood, where a bespectacled art gallery owner invited me for coffee. A long time ago, I learned that no two souls in this world have the same interests, so alone time had always been mandatory for Jovi and I.

4. When you come home after a vacation, print your pictures. Not just upload in FB or IG but print in real paper and insert into frames. I made an album of our trip to Europe and used it as a birthday gift for Jovi. (It’s a gift for him that turns out to be a gift for me, too.)

WRITING

I’ve had the great luck and honor to work with the Philippine Airlines’ in-flight magazine, Mabuhay. Aside from an article about the Cebu Safari, I organized a front-cover photoshoot and wrote a 1500-word feature story on Bisaya music. I’m especially thankful to my photographer friend RG for connecting me to Mabuhay and to James, who is a thoughtful editor.

[READ: “Let the Music Play” Mabuhay Magazine, July 2018]

CAREER

I left my work as a marketer to become a full-time freelance writer. As someone who valued high income, I took the scary leap to have almost none. I would describe this year as risky, where I traded job security to pursuing writing. And what a life-affirming challenge that was, to become the opposite of my perceived identity.

Through this experience, I learned temperance, the ability to restrain one’s desires. At the start of the year, I embarked on a successful “NO SHOPPING” policy only derailed on the 90th-day mark when I bought the perfect bootcut jeans in F&F. Still, for the rest of the year, I had to let go of so much of my “wants”, just so I can extend my writing experiment. I learned a few more things:

1. I don’t need much
2. Exactly how much I need to survive

Folks I worked with this year. (1st top left: Carmen del Prado and Mia Arcenas for Mabuhay December 2018 “Going Global”. 2nd top right: Cebu Safari VP Eduard Loop and my husband, Jovi. 1st bottom left: Photographer Takeshi, Musical Director Jude Gitamondoc and singer-songwriter Jerika Teodorico. 2nd bottom pic: Caohagan Quilters)

When I learned of how little I need, it gave me to courage to keep writing. And I got a lot better. Not just in the way I normally blog (which took a backseat this year so I can focus on published work) but how to make real money getting published. I felt like I was dropped in a bubbling pot of publishing shabu-shabu. Just as cabbage and mushrooms are essential to a good hotpot, I learned how necessary it is to add details and fact-check in creative nonfiction writing. I never thought I’d want to pull out my hair at 6 AM, my favorite time of day, but I did while editing. As Chris Sykes once said, “Anybody who thinks writing is easy is someone who never really tried.”

HEALTH

Most people’s capacity for pain is low. Nobody even takes cold showers anymore. Much more lift heavy weights, which I did for the better part of the year. Strength training transformed my body into a shape unrecognizable to me. I’ve been active all my life but to see rippling muscles on my arms and quads was a surprise.

I remember all those 4:30 AM wakeups to get to the gym alone or the moments I almost passed out after swinging 40-lb kettlebells on deadlift day. I’ve never worked out harder and have been rewarded greater. I’ll continue my training in 2019, only more despacito this time.

RELATIONSHIPS

Every year, I grow deeper in love with the family I married into. I’ve spent a lot of time with my nephews and nieces this year, learning things about them like how they simply want pens and notebooks and who their real favorite cousin is. Sometimes, it’s easy to get lost in big family gatherings but nothing beats genuinely listening to one person.

“To understand and to be understood, those are among life’s greatest gifts,” wrote Brainpicking’s Maria Popova. I’m thankful for the opportunity to spend time with friends and young family members, revel in the joy of their company and get infected by their energy.

The man I married gets better with age like fine leather. This year, Jovi achieved a lot, too. He successfully shut down Redgolf, his golf business of 10 years; ran several half-marathons; healed his plantar fasciitis mainly by losing weight; and lined up for an extraordinary 24-hours to get in front of U2 in Paris. Not to say we didn’t fight all year but indeed the squabbles are getting better, ending with forgiveness and understanding soon after.  Jovi’s “my person”  in Grey’s Anatomy jargon. My 2018 would be chaos and mush without him.

In closing, I hope that you’ll be inspired to make a similar reflection of your past year. It’s surprisingly fun and a great reminder that through God’s grace, we are alive and thriving. May 2019 bring you health and happiness. Happy New Year!

2018 Highlights:

• Transitioned from marketing to writing
• Read about Stoicism every day
• Celebrated my 3rd wedding anniversary with my husband in Bantayan Island’s Annika Resort
• Reached my peak strength at deadlift 1.5x my body weight
• Traveled to 6 countries: France, Italy, Hongkong, Singapore, Switzerland, Vatican
• Camped solo to a place I’ve never been before
• Explored Coron, Palawan with my husband where we got to hug giraffes
• Learned how to edit my work
• Learned how to do calligraphy
• Learned how to do basic self-defense
• Celebrated my 27th birthday with my family over rose-covered table setting and lechon (roasted pig) served 4 ways
• Planned a DIY trip to Europe and got our Schengen VISAs approved
• Worked with Mabuhay Magazine, the Philippine Airlines’ in-flight magazine
• Hosted my close friends in Cebu like Lyra who flew in from Hongkong and Jonathan from Manila
• Traveled to Singapore’s Resorts World Sentosa on my first media familiarization trip
• Read almost a hundred books. Thanks to reading subscription, Scribd!

About the Author

Crystal Neri is a freelance writer who has worked across media platforms in places as diverse as US, Singapore, and Australia. She lives in Cebu City where she covers travel and entrepreneurship at crystalneri.com. Say Hi to her (@nericrystal) on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe to her newsletter:

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I’ve been to seven countries so far and constantly take mini-adventures around San Diego county

1. Capetown, South Africa

b. EYE SURGERY

c. MARRIED LIFE AND
BUILDING OUR FIRST HOME

SAVING MONEY TIP #1 – CULTIVATE FRUGAL BEHAVIOR

Stores manipulate your senses into overspending

SAVING MONEY TIP #2 “YOU MANAGE WHAT YOU MONITOR” 

Best way to curb impulse buying: writing down every penny

Once a month, I sit down for 20 minutes to review

(To be continued….)

PART 2 is about money saving tips #3 and #4, and the downsides of frugality. Click here. 

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We used to call her “mongol,” as she is curve-less and skinny as the pencil brand. Somewhere along the way, she learned to line her eyes, grew hair and hips, developed a taste in clothes and some high-caliber golfing skills.

“He who does not have an embarrassing childhood photo, cast the first stone.” :: Me (left) and Princess (right) in Boracay 2006.

8 YEARS LATER:: Our most recent picture taken in Coronado, July 2014.

My sister, Princess Mary Superal, just won the 2014 US Girl’s Junior Championship, the most prestigious golf girls’ event in the world. Out of a record 1,188 entries and 162 holes from a 6,718-yard long golf course, she came out the winner. No other home-grown Filipina has achieved this feat.

Last year, she won two gold medals for the Philippines in the SEA Games, a premier golf event in Southeast Asia. She played 24 amateur and professional events last year alone — “a quite full schedule,” Golf Channel commentators noted. When she was 13 years old, she shot a course-record 62 (10-under par) at the Cottonwoods golf course. Nothing in her reaction that day seemed out of the ordinary. She wins often that every time somebody sees me, their first reaction is: “Hey, congrats to your sister!”

I wish those people would understand that the win is not on her list of accomplishments, but who she had become.

On January 16, 1997, Princess was born a preemie, only seven months out. The doctor asked my father to be ready to lose either his wife or child. The baby came out weighing only one-pound and as fragile as a Sardinian blood veal. To recover, the doctors incubated her for a month. My parents deservedly named her as “Princess,” as she is our family’s royal, precious gift. Her second name, “Mary” is from Mother Mary, my mom’s favorite saint.

With Baby Princess:: One of our earliest family photos, 1998

Growing up, Princess did not play, cry, or eat much. When other kids scraped their knees from playing, she observed on the sides, probably thinking how stupid they were. It shocked me one day when my sister pounced on an abusive comment. Many times, she’d been left alone; she had witnessed abuse and bullying, even had her head stitched up. She’s not at all innocent as she looks. When challenged, she has two reactions: either fight or laugh.

Her usual response is humor, even at the silliest of things.

Our recent conversation went like this:

Me: “Wolen is having a gout attack… tapos si Lola may gout din daw.” 

(Silence)

Princess: “Hala! Ako na yata sunod. Tapos si Ace. Haha” 

Her remarks are unique, sharp. Just yesterday, she was stranded for three hours on an airplane in New York. “I want to be the one to fix this plane!,” she texted me. That’s her distinct, Superal-way of dealing with adversity: light-hearted and mature. How did she learn all that?

“Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”

Arnold Palmer describes golf as, “satisfaction to the soul and frustration to the intellect.” So perhaps from hundreds of rounds Princess plays, golf is actually toughening her up. Or maybe from travel or dealing with folks she meets along the way.

Nowadays I only see my sister for one week every year. When I do, I have no other intention (not even talk about golf!) other than to cuddle her. Her small face is like a doll’s, as my mother describes. Her hair and skin always needs pampering, for which I take pride in doing. In short, when I’m with her, I just want to take care of her.

I see Princess not just as 42nd in the Women’s World Amateur rankings, but as a perpetual transformation from being mongol to beautiful girl to a normal teen, balancing friends and family and an extraordinary talent torn between college or professional golf. A chaotic stage to be in, yet she retains her charity, class and comedy. If this is not someone who has-it-all, she’s sure damn close.

(P.S. We love you, Princess.)

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THE CALLAWAY JUNIOR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SHAPED MY CHILDHOOD. Every year, 1200 kids from 56 countries come to San Diego, California, for the biggest international event in the world. It’s one week bundled with a parade, college recruiting and a high-caliber junior golf tournament that produced the likes of Tiger Woods, Jason Day, Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, etc. Winning this tournament — Junior World — consumed my family’s energy.

If any of us wins, the Philippine President might give us a Malacanang Palace invite and monetary gift up to one million pesos. We heard Presidents awarded large sums to former Filipino champions. We also heard Pepperdine University scouted Jayvie Agojo after many years of prominent finishes in the event.  At the least, we would be featured in newspapers all over the country and have our names engraved in Torrey Pines parade flags. Maybe. Whatever our presumptions were, this was the tournament that had the chance to turn our lives around.

Caddying for Ace in Sycuan, 2013. She finished 5th.

At that time, my dad’s worst threat was: “Hindi na kayo lalaro sa Junior World,” every time we played bad. And it was a real threat – the thought of staying at home for a month while the rest of the family are in San Diego; and missing Disneyland and Universal Studios, steak dinners, and tours of Balboa Park. Winning the Junior World qualifying round means you are truly the BEST junior golfer in the Philippines. Winning in Callaway Junior World means you are top-caliber on Earth. That’s a big deal for any kid, much so a competitive athlete who takes 12 months to prepare just for one tournament. A high-level pressure that non-athletes might not comprehend.

We had reached a pinnacle: At one point, my siblings and I were all world-class junior golfers. Between Wolen, Princess, Eagle and I, we had 24 Junior World showings within the last 11 years. Out of those 24, we had a combination of 11 Top-10 finishes. Certainly no other Filipino family has achieved that; most likely none of the tournament’s history had. In 2005, Wolen won the 11-12 boys’ division with a score of 21-under par. Only one other golfer broke this record: 14-year old Paphangkhorn Tavatanakit shot 23-under par in 2014. To play, we had asked countless people to financially support our trip. All my of siblings practiced until our hands bled. 

My sister, Princess Superal in Torrey Pines 2013. She has played Junior World ten times – six of them were top-10 finishes.

Maybe it’s the fact that children are impressionable and everything seems bigger. I thought Junior World could change our lives. In fact, it did not. I found my US college scholarship through an arbitrary online athlete’s profile. Wolen did not get any offers from Junior World. Princess is getting some already, but she’s not ready to take it yet. Granted, all the other Filipino champions in the recent years received Palace invites, magazine covers and accolades – but not money. It’s worth noting that the Philippines have had much more frequent winners recently than any other time. Kids have gotten way better. This is a testament to the Philippine junior golf program’s progress, both in support and training.

Me wearing yellow; Princess and Wolen finally together at the parade in 2014

My last showing in Junior World was seven years ago. Every year, I’ve been attending parades, caddying, and watching my siblings play. As I stand on the side, watching hundreds of children line up at the parade, I can’t help but feel sympathy for them. I don’t know how much percentage gets “forced” to play by parents. I could only hope that they continue to carry the love of golf throughout their adult lives – even if they don’t do well in this particular tournament. Golf parents are ranked one of the worst stage-parents in all of sports (including baseball and cheerleading).

Junior World parade 2011 with our mom

Junior World is a grand arena, similar to World Cup or Olympics in prestige. But it is not the end-all be-all. Only in retrospect I recognized how the seemingly “life-changing” tournament is nothing but just another tournament – like hundreds of others. Today, Junior World has become a time for my family to golf and get-together. Our time of happiness. It’s the only reason my siblings ever come to America and see my mother once a year. And that is what I wish for the players and their parents this week: play well, and more importantly, make this a time for joy.

-C.

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If you’re job hunting, how are your accounts helping your future employer find you?
If you’re an organization, how are you reaching your audience?
If you’re a brand, how are you communicating to your market?

I’m currently reading a book by David Meerman Scott, a marketer/strategist and best-selling author. I find marketing and PR quite fascinating, because that’s how people and organizations present themselves to the world. For example, people like Oprah or Anderson Cooper will never be unemployed just because of their strong personal brand. It’s how you make money, meet people, sell ideas. And the fact that branding is extremely relevant today, either for business or personal reasons.

This question above is opens the the first chapter of the book.

It made me think how I — a media producer looking for a job — can help my employers find me. Is my LinkedIn up-to-date? How are they going to know about my experience in production? Or that I’m a successful student-athlete with awards to my name? And this just isn’t personal, this question applies to your organization/business/blog/agency too. Just think about it.

“How are existing advertising and media relations programs working?

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