We used to call her “mongol,” as she is curve-less and skinny as the pencil brand. Somewhere along the way, she learned to line her eyes, grew hair and hips, developed a taste in clothes and some high-caliber golfing skills.

“He who does not have an embarrassing childhood photo, cast the first stone.” :: Me (left) and Princess (right) in Boracay 2006.

8 YEARS LATER:: Our most recent picture taken in Coronado, July 2014.

My sister, Princess Mary Superal, just won the 2014 US Girl’s Junior Championship, the most prestigious golf girls’ event in the world. Out of a record 1,188 entries and 162 holes from a 6,718-yard long golf course, she came out the winner. No other home-grown Filipina has achieved this feat.

Last year, she won two gold medals for the Philippines in the SEA Games, a premier golf event in Southeast Asia. She played 24 amateur and professional events last year alone — “a quite full schedule,” Golf Channel commentators noted. When she was 13 years old, she shot a course-record 62 (10-under par) at the Cottonwoods golf course. Nothing in her reaction that day seemed out of the ordinary. She wins often that every time somebody sees me, their first reaction is: “Hey, congrats to your sister!”

I wish those people would understand that the win is not on her list of accomplishments, but who she had become.

On January 16, 1997, Princess was born a preemie, only seven months out. The doctor asked my father to be ready to lose either his wife or child. The baby came out weighing only one-pound and as fragile as a Sardinian blood veal. To recover, the doctors incubated her for a month. My parents deservedly named her as “Princess,” as she is our family’s royal, precious gift. Her second name, “Mary” is from Mother Mary, my mom’s favorite saint.

With Baby Princess:: One of our earliest family photos, 1998

Growing up, Princess did not play, cry, or eat much. When other kids scraped their knees from playing, she observed on the sides, probably thinking how stupid they were. It shocked me one day when my sister pounced on an abusive comment. Many times, she’d been left alone; she had witnessed abuse and bullying, even had her head stitched up. She’s not at all innocent as she looks. When challenged, she has two reactions: either fight or laugh.

Her usual response is humor, even at the silliest of things.

Our recent conversation went like this:

Me: “Wolen is having a gout attack… tapos si Lola may gout din daw.” 

(Silence)

Princess: “Hala! Ako na yata sunod. Tapos si Ace. Haha” 

Her remarks are unique, sharp. Just yesterday, she was stranded for three hours on an airplane in New York. “I want to be the one to fix this plane!,” she texted me. That’s her distinct, Superal-way of dealing with adversity: light-hearted and mature. How did she learn all that?

“Age is a high price to pay for maturity.”

Arnold Palmer describes golf as, “satisfaction to the soul and frustration to the intellect.” So perhaps from hundreds of rounds Princess plays, golf is actually toughening her up. Or maybe from travel or dealing with folks she meets along the way.

Nowadays I only see my sister for one week every year. When I do, I have no other intention (not even talk about golf!) other than to cuddle her. Her small face is like a doll’s, as my mother describes. Her hair and skin always needs pampering, for which I take pride in doing. In short, when I’m with her, I just want to take care of her.

I see Princess not just as 42nd in the Women’s World Amateur rankings, but as a perpetual transformation from being mongol to beautiful girl to a normal teen, balancing friends and family and an extraordinary talent torn between college or professional golf. A chaotic stage to be in, yet she retains her charity, class and comedy. If this is not someone who has-it-all, she’s sure damn close.

(P.S. We love you, Princess.)

The post Can Someone Really Have It All? appeared first on Crystal Neri.

THE CALLAWAY JUNIOR WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP SHAPED MY CHILDHOOD. Every year, 1200 kids from 56 countries come to San Diego, California, for the biggest international event in the world. It’s one week bundled with a parade, college recruiting and a high-caliber junior golf tournament that produced the likes of Tiger Woods, Jason Day, Rory McIlroy, Phil Mickelson, etc. Winning this tournament — Junior World — consumed my family’s energy.

If any of us wins, the Philippine President might give us a Malacanang Palace invite and monetary gift up to one million pesos. We heard Presidents awarded large sums to former Filipino champions. We also heard Pepperdine University scouted Jayvie Agojo after many years of prominent finishes in the event.  At the least, we would be featured in newspapers all over the country and have our names engraved in Torrey Pines parade flags. Maybe. Whatever our presumptions were, this was the tournament that had the chance to turn our lives around.

Caddying for Ace in Sycuan, 2013. She finished 5th.

At that time, my dad’s worst threat was: “Hindi na kayo lalaro sa Junior World,” every time we played bad. And it was a real threat – the thought of staying at home for a month while the rest of the family are in San Diego; and missing Disneyland and Universal Studios, steak dinners, and tours of Balboa Park. Winning the Junior World qualifying round means you are truly the BEST junior golfer in the Philippines. Winning in Callaway Junior World means you are top-caliber on Earth. That’s a big deal for any kid, much so a competitive athlete who takes 12 months to prepare just for one tournament. A high-level pressure that non-athletes might not comprehend.

We had reached a pinnacle: At one point, my siblings and I were all world-class junior golfers. Between Wolen, Princess, Eagle and I, we had 24 Junior World showings within the last 11 years. Out of those 24, we had a combination of 11 Top-10 finishes. Certainly no other Filipino family has achieved that; most likely none of the tournament’s history had. In 2005, Wolen won the 11-12 boys’ division with a score of 21-under par. Only one other golfer broke this record: 14-year old Paphangkhorn Tavatanakit shot 23-under par in 2014. To play, we had asked countless people to financially support our trip. All my of siblings practiced until our hands bled. 

My sister, Princess Superal in Torrey Pines 2013. She has played Junior World ten times – six of them were top-10 finishes.

Maybe it’s the fact that children are impressionable and everything seems bigger. I thought Junior World could change our lives. In fact, it did not. I found my US college scholarship through an arbitrary online athlete’s profile. Wolen did not get any offers from Junior World. Princess is getting some already, but she’s not ready to take it yet. Granted, all the other Filipino champions in the recent years received Palace invites, magazine covers and accolades – but not money. It’s worth noting that the Philippines have had much more frequent winners recently than any other time. Kids have gotten way better. This is a testament to the Philippine junior golf program’s progress, both in support and training.

Me wearing yellow; Princess and Wolen finally together at the parade in 2014

My last showing in Junior World was seven years ago. Every year, I’ve been attending parades, caddying, and watching my siblings play. As I stand on the side, watching hundreds of children line up at the parade, I can’t help but feel sympathy for them. I don’t know how much percentage gets “forced” to play by parents. I could only hope that they continue to carry the love of golf throughout their adult lives – even if they don’t do well in this particular tournament. Golf parents are ranked one of the worst stage-parents in all of sports (including baseball and cheerleading).

Junior World parade 2011 with our mom

Junior World is a grand arena, similar to World Cup or Olympics in prestige. But it is not the end-all be-all. Only in retrospect I recognized how the seemingly “life-changing” tournament is nothing but just another tournament – like hundreds of others. Today, Junior World has become a time for my family to golf and get-together. Our time of happiness. It’s the only reason my siblings ever come to America and see my mother once a year. And that is what I wish for the players and their parents this week: play well, and more importantly, make this a time for joy.

-C.

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