IN MY ANNUAL REVIEW, as usual, I measure the year’s successes and failures and what I learned from them. “The days are long but the years are short,” says author Gretchen Rubin. It’s incredible how much can happen in one short year. Here’s a review of 2018, hoping that it serves as a blueprint for myself (and you) to guide us into the new year.

TRAVEL

As a travel addict, it’s really hard to swallow the concept of one big trip per year. I used to book random trips the same way a shopaholic clicks “Add to Cart”.

2018 was different because Jovi and I booked one big, hairy, and ambitious 3-week holiday in Paris, Switzerland, Rome, Milan, and Florence. It was so expensive, it took us a year to save.

All being said, what did I really take away? A few things:

1. The best moments of trips are during downtime or when you’re alone or lost. I broke down in tears after stepping solo inside Milan’s Duomo, gripped by the church’s massive, holy interiors preserved in perfection. I talked about it on Atlas Obscura, a platform that features the world’s unique wonders.

2. I planned the trip the obsessed way, down to train seats per country and discount Metro tickets. It was downright exhausting. What’s the upside? It improved my research skills, going as far as asking Lonely Planet forums to get Swiss train travel advice.

[WATCH: Bernina Express, Riding One Of the World’s Most Scenic Train Rides]

3. When traveling with family or with a partner, schedule time to be apart. Some of my most thrilling travel experiences happened when I was simply by myself. One was in Paris’ Republique neighborhood, where a bespectacled art gallery owner invited me for coffee. A long time ago, I learned that no two souls in this world have the same interests, so alone time had always been mandatory for Jovi and I.

4. When you come home after a vacation, print your pictures. Not just upload in FB or IG but print in real paper and insert into frames. I made an album of our trip to Europe and used it as a birthday gift for Jovi. (It’s a gift for him that turns out to be a gift for me, too.)

WRITING

I’ve had the great luck and honor to work with the Philippine Airlines’ in-flight magazine, Mabuhay. Aside from an article about the Cebu Safari, I organized a front-cover photoshoot and wrote a 1500-word feature story on Bisaya music. I’m especially thankful to my photographer friend RG for connecting me to Mabuhay and to James, who is a thoughtful editor.

[READ: “Let the Music Play” Mabuhay Magazine, July 2018]

CAREER

I left my work as a marketer to become a full-time freelance writer. As someone who valued high income, I took the scary leap to have almost none. I would describe this year as risky, where I traded job security to pursuing writing. And what a life-affirming challenge that was, to become the opposite of my perceived identity.

Through this experience, I learned temperance, the ability to restrain one’s desires. At the start of the year, I embarked on a successful “NO SHOPPING” policy only derailed on the 90th-day mark when I bought the perfect bootcut jeans in F&F. Still, for the rest of the year, I had to let go of so much of my “wants”, just so I can extend my writing experiment. I learned a few more things:

1. I don’t need much
2. Exactly how much I need to survive

Folks I worked with this year. (1st top left: Carmen del Prado and Mia Arcenas for Mabuhay December 2018 “Going Global”. 2nd top right: Cebu Safari VP Eduard Loop and my husband, Jovi. 1st bottom left: Photographer Takeshi, Musical Director Jude Gitamondoc and singer-songwriter Jerika Teodorico. 2nd bottom pic: Caohagan Quilters)

When I learned of how little I need, it gave me to courage to keep writing. And I got a lot better. Not just in the way I normally blog (which took a backseat this year so I can focus on published work) but how to make real money getting published. I felt like I was dropped in a bubbling pot of publishing shabu-shabu. Just as cabbage and mushrooms are essential to a good hotpot, I learned how necessary it is to add details and fact-check in creative nonfiction writing. I never thought I’d want to pull out my hair at 6 AM, my favorite time of day, but I did while editing. As Chris Sykes once said, “Anybody who thinks writing is easy is someone who never really tried.”

HEALTH

Most people’s capacity for pain is low. Nobody even takes cold showers anymore. Much more lift heavy weights, which I did for the better part of the year. Strength training transformed my body into a shape unrecognizable to me. I’ve been active all my life but to see rippling muscles on my arms and quads was a surprise.

I remember all those 4:30 AM wakeups to get to the gym alone or the moments I almost passed out after swinging 40-lb kettlebells on deadlift day. I’ve never worked out harder and have been rewarded greater. I’ll continue my training in 2019, only more despacito this time.

RELATIONSHIPS

Every year, I grow deeper in love with the family I married into. I’ve spent a lot of time with my nephews and nieces this year, learning things about them like how they simply want pens and notebooks and who their real favorite cousin is. Sometimes, it’s easy to get lost in big family gatherings but nothing beats genuinely listening to one person.

“To understand and to be understood, those are among life’s greatest gifts,” wrote Brainpicking’s Maria Popova. I’m thankful for the opportunity to spend time with friends and young family members, revel in the joy of their company and get infected by their energy.

The man I married gets better with age like fine leather. This year, Jovi achieved a lot, too. He successfully shut down Redgolf, his golf business of 10 years; ran several half-marathons; healed his plantar fasciitis mainly by losing weight; and lined up for an extraordinary 24-hours to get in front of U2 in Paris. Not to say we didn’t fight all year but indeed the squabbles are getting better, ending with forgiveness and understanding soon after.  Jovi’s “my person”  in Grey’s Anatomy jargon. My 2018 would be chaos and mush without him.

In closing, I hope that you’ll be inspired to make a similar reflection of your past year. It’s surprisingly fun and a great reminder that through God’s grace, we are alive and thriving. May 2019 bring you health and happiness. Happy New Year!

2018 Highlights:

• Transitioned from marketing to writing
• Read about Stoicism every day
• Celebrated my 3rd wedding anniversary with my husband in Bantayan Island’s Annika Resort
• Reached my peak strength at deadlift 1.5x my body weight
• Traveled to 6 countries: France, Italy, Hongkong, Singapore, Switzerland, Vatican
• Camped solo to a place I’ve never been before
• Explored Coron, Palawan with my husband where we got to hug giraffes
• Learned how to edit my work
• Learned how to do calligraphy
• Learned how to do basic self-defense
• Celebrated my 27th birthday with my family over rose-covered table setting and lechon (roasted pig) served 4 ways
• Planned a DIY trip to Europe and got our Schengen VISAs approved
• Worked with Mabuhay Magazine, the Philippine Airlines’ in-flight magazine
• Hosted my close friends in Cebu like Lyra who flew in from Hongkong and Jonathan from Manila
• Traveled to Singapore’s Resorts World Sentosa on my first media familiarization trip
• Read almost a hundred books. Thanks to reading subscription, Scribd!

About the Author

Crystal Neri is a freelance writer who has worked across media platforms in places as diverse as US, Singapore, and Australia. She lives in Cebu City where she covers travel and entrepreneurship at crystalneri.com. Say Hi to her (@nericrystal) on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe to her newsletter:

The post 2018: Year in Review appeared first on Crystal Neri.

In 2017, I saw Grand Teton’s famous snow-capped peaks and Yellowstone’s buffalos, boils and bubbles.  More than ever, I spent time with my Neri and Superal families. I cooked, read and worked out more. We travelled to Bohol, Batanes, US, Korea, Japan and China. But it wasn’t a perfect year – there were tears and hardships too.

In July, my husband Jovi and I got separated for almost 2 months because my family needed me. In November, we seriously asked ourselves when’s a good time to have kids. This year was particularly difficult for me at work. I learned that I’m extremely tolerant and good with time, but I also have blind spots in big-picture thinking and making decisions too fast. Here’s a look back at all the happy and sad memories in 2017:

January

2017 started with sad news: the project I was working on will have to end abruptly, and my sisters Princess and Ace will be leaving for the US as green card holders. After wiping a few tears, I went about my month focused on lifting weights in the gym and travel planning for the year.

February

As I was slowly wrapping up my tasks at work, I received happy news. I got invited to speak at the first ever Tech Ladies Meetup in Cebu to talk about how I got into marketing. My major in college, Multimedia Communications, was really what lead me to this path. I was nervous for the entire duration of the 15-minute speech, but I had a great time preparing and meeting the other ladies in tech like me.

Also in February, I signed up for my longest run ever (7 kilometres) for the SM to SM Marathon. I have many friends and a husband who are avid runners, so I felt like a beginner in their world. But running in the rain at 4:OO AM for 7km rain was not a joke!

March

March was a challenging and busy month for work, travel and my husband’s 8-day absence. Every year, Jovi the PAL Men’s Golf Championship. I’m always sad to see him go, but I’ve found ways to fill up his absence in the last couple years. One time, I travelled solo to beautiful Surigao, and this year, I updated all my Inbound Marketing certifications.

On the first week of March, Sierra arrived in Cebu. We got massages, pedicures and sampled Filipino food. With Jovi in tow, we spent a weekend in Bohol to see tarsiers and Alona Beach. I was so glad that despite the years, Sierra and I remained good friends and that 2017 was finally the year that she visited the Philippines.

With the end of my work project, came two big opportunities right after. I was sourced by a recruiter for a social media project and got hired to consult as Inbound Marketer. In March, I had to juggle three jobs (at one point) that I remember spending nights at a cafe just to finish my long to-do list.

Jovi and I travelled to Seoul, South Korea on the last week of March. What a trip! Within 4 days, we saw the Changdeukgung and Changgyeoggung palaces, visited DMZ and ate some of the world’s best street food at Myeongdong. If you’re ever visiting Seoul, check out the video above and my blog about things to see and do there.

April

I’m a big fan of birthdays, so April is always a special month as I turn 26 years old. As a pre-Holy Week and early birthday celebration, Jovi and I travelled to Batanes, the northernmost tip of the Philippines. Many Filipino dream of visiting Batanes, but many are put off by the price and how hard it is to get there. Batanes does not look like anything else in the Philippines – rolling hills, ‘Honesty’ stores, and having four seasons make it unique. If you ever dream of seeing Batanes, stay tuned for my next blog about how we got an affordable travel package there.

When we got back from Batanes, it’s already Maundy Thursday. Holy Week in the Philippines is always a very big deal – everything shuts down and families tend to travel or stay home. We usually spend Holy Week in Amara and I’m thrilled to have my sister Ace fly in for the week. This year, my 26th birthday landed on Easter Sunday. My family had dinner in Italian heirloom restaurant Trattoria Gianni, with a special appearance from Matteo De Guidicelli.

May

After Seoul and Bohol, we had to plan for another mammoth trip – the Neri family cruise. My in-laws brought the entire family (15 of us!) to a 5-day Royal Caribbean cruise from Shanghai, China to Kumamoto, Japan. I volunteered to handle all cruise registrations and help with the Chinese VISAS.

To take advantage of the trip, Jovi and I flew to Shanghai one day earlier than everyone else to see the Bund and the Shanghai Museum. That turns out to be one of the best decisions of the year! We saw some of the oldest artefacts of jade, porcelain and silk in the Shanghai Museum. And we rode the Maglev train, the first and fastest commercial train in the world. Stay tuned for my next blog about 24-hours in Shanghai.

The cruise was perfect – my in-laws, Nelia and Julius, spent a wonderful 51st anniversary onboard Quantum of the Seas and everyone enjoyed our bonding time. My family especially loved shopping in Yatsushiro, and some of us even got to do a side trip to the Kumamoto Castle. This deserves a blog post on its own, so I will write one soon. We hope that we can continue to do family trips like this in the future.

June

My mom asked me to fly to San Diego, California to help my sisters acclimate as new immigrants there. I thought this would be the perfect time for an extended trip, but I felt bad leaving Jovi for 6 weeks. This would be the longest separation we had since 2014. (Turns out, Jovi will end up losing 10 lbs. and be in the best shape of his life in my absence.) I spent most of June freelance writing, hiking, driving and caddying around Escondido and San Diego. Thinking of visiting San Diego soon? I highly recommend the San Diego Safari Park! Here’s a list of things to do and see there.

July

Every year, July is the highlight of our year because of the Callaway Junior World Championship, an annual golf tournament for elite junior golfers. Even if I don’t play that tournament anymore, I’ve been delegated as driver and caddy of my sister Ace.

Mid-July, me, my mom Grace and sister Ace went on a trip of a lifetime – to Grand Teton and Yellowstone National Park. We saw 500 buffalos, dozens of elk and moose and some of the best views of waterfalls and snow-capped mountains in the entire U.S. From San Diego, we flew to Salt Lake City, then drove through Jackson Hole to Wyoming, Idaho and Montana. Anyone who’s had any similar long drives with the family will attest to how fun this was. I’m so thankful for my Mom for this trip and for teaching me to be an adventurer!

August

After 6 long weeks in the US, I finally came home to Cebu. My husband has lost so much weight, we had to go shopping and alter his clothes. I’m so proud of him! He’s back to running and going to the gym again. It’s time to double down on my work again as I committed to a bigger role in the company where I was freelancing. I felt travel exhaustion, so Jovi and I cancelled any other trips for the year (even our fully-paid tickets to Clark, Pampanga).

September

I prepare for one big golf tournament at the end the year – the PAL Ladies Golf Championship, the biggest ladies golf team event in the country. It’s like going on a tournament with your closest friends and also be with other friends you rarely see. I’m so happy to have my sister Princess and best friend Inez fly in for the PAL tournament. On our free days, we would sneak out for dessert, lunch or a movie. To prepare for this tournament, I start my weight lifting two months prior and reach up to 88% max for deadlifts and squats. I play a whole lot more, too. This year, I didn’t finish the tournament well, but that’s just how golf is. We’ll try again next year!

October

October continues to be busy with the birthday of my husband, golf tournaments, and the annual Cebu Country Club Halloween party. On his 40th birthday, Jovi played golf with me and some friends who joined us for dinner at the Japanese restaurant, Kamakura. It was a night of memorable fresh soba noodles flown in from Japan, then served and cooked in front us. 

As an ode to my time in San Francisco, I’ve taken the Halloween costume to a serious level. We join the Cebu Country Club Halloween costume contest every year. In 2016, I won as Wonder Woman. This year, I wanted to be Linda Blair from The Exorcist. My costume was so scary that I had to sleep with the lights on for so many days. At the party, I’ve never made so many kids cry. It was so great to share this experience with my best friend Jonathan, who not only flew in for Halloween but was also my partner priest.

November

November was a time for reflection and finally investing in a few procedures. Jovi and I seriously asked ourselves if we should have kids, but we’re just not ready yet. My husband is the most incredible, supportive person and I have to keep reminding myself how rare it is to be married to someone like that. Also this month, I’ve finally decided to pay for laser hair removal. Just imagine a future where you never have to bring any razor to any trip – that alone makes it worth the hassle and expenses for me. To prepare for 2018 travel,  I volunteered to process my family’s Japanese and US VISAS. I’m so impressed with the US Embassy’s Interview Waiver Drop Box Program. If you’re a Filipino who wants to renew your US VISA, this is a must-read.

December

The only way to avoid traffic and jam-packed streets and malls in the Philippines during December is to do Christmas shopping early. Every year, we have a 30-person gift list. I started shopping for them 6 months ago, so our December was stress-free! Yet, this month is still always a whirlwind of parties and hosting friends and family. For some miracle, my sister Princess was in town, so she spent 9 wonderful days with us. Daizo, Ryoko and baby Ryusei, our friends from Tokyo visited Cebu for the first time in years. When I married Jovi, I didn’t expect a whole barangay of family and friends who would accept me and love each other so much. When my big family is being loud while eating and laughing, my simple happiness is knowing that I’ve helped organise the get-together in some way. December is always a reminder of that.

2018….

My goals for the year:

• To give away more free stuff for my readers (ebooks, itineraries, travel packing lists, etc)
• To learn more about Stoicism and do my daily journal.  In November, I signed up for the Daily Stoic, a free daily newsletter about Stoic lessons. Stoicism was invented by the Greeks and perfected by the Romans – as a way to deal with everyday life. It’s the best thing I read every day
• To learn how to say no more often and be more “authentic”
• To take on a 30-day no shopping challenge. No shopping clothes, accessories, bags or shoes. The reason is that I already have too much stuff and I need to pull back
• To take on monthly 24-hour fasts. My goal is to calibrate my need to eat. I find that it really curbs my appetite for the next few days/ weeks
• We hope to go to Europe at the end of the year. I’ve been saving up for this!  So far, we’ve already booked flights to Coron in March
• To eat more mindfully. I’ve always been an intuitive eater, but I could be better about eating when I’m not hungry
• To reach my goal of lifting 2x my body weight. That means I have to deadlift and squat 240 lbs. The reason is that I’ve hit a plateau and want to take my strength to the next level

About the Author

Crystal Neri is a Content and Social Media Marketer. She is a Hootsuite and Hubspot certified expert, covering travel, self-improvement and marketing trends. A graduate of Academy of Art University in San Francisco, Crystal currently works as a marketer in Cebu City, Philippines. Say Hi to her on Twitter (@nericrystal) and Instagram (@nericrystal).

Let me know if you have any travel stories or tips to share in the comments section below. Also, say Hi to me on Twitter (@nericrystal) or subscribe to my newsletter:

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NERI FAMILY. My parents-in-law are the epitome of true love and graceful living

I held back tears last night after seeing my parents-in-law, Nelia and Julius, react as they entered the spacious and sparkly Montebello Villa Hotel ballroom. We organized this party for them as a labor of love. They are the epitome of true love and graceful living.

Their reaction says it all

Friends and family cheering for them

Over 100 guests kept it secret

My Mom Nelia specifically told us that she did not want a party. “It’s too much work and there’s too many people,” she said. But my brothers- and sisters-in-law still wanted something special for them. JJ, the eldest of the Neri brothers came up with the idea of a surprise party. My sisters-in-law started brainstorming ideas as early as Holy Week in April, hiding in our rooms late at night to discuss details. Lotlot is the mastermind coming up with themes and details, while Candice added the rest of the missing parts. My husband Jovi started doing sketches and digitally restoring old photos of his parents. I’ve never been part of any wedding anniversary or a surprise party before, so I just listened carefully and promised to help with photos and videos.

Secret Preparations

We ramped up our party planning skills a month before the event. I shared my wedding guest list from last year, Lotlot started sending out the word about our surprise party to friends and family, while Candice booked suppliers. We even started a private Viber group for the sisters-in-law and another Facebook group for guest invitations.

READ: I’m Married! Our Wedding Story

The hardest part of the surprise party was figuring out what excuse will make them attend. My in-laws are very busy people, but we just had to find the perfect excuse to make them go and dress up. We stuck with what was safest – we told them that Candice was having a white/gold themed party for her company, JLR.

The surprise party invitation

There were moments we almost failed. At one point, Dad Julius told Justin that he’s planning to leave for Camiguin on May 25^th. Also, I had lunch with Mom and Dad that day. When Mom started to ask details about Candice’s “party” I got rattled and abruptly changed the topic. It did not help that some of their friends already started congratulating them in the morning. Someone even sent a gift to the house! Mom had been down with flu the past two days, so we’re not even sure she could make it.

The Party Details

The vast Montebello Villa Hotel Grand Ballroom was decked in peach and white roses by Pinky Chang and had a pair photo booth sections with over 80+ pictures and art.

Lotlot and Mikkel doing last-minute party decor

Photos I secretly gathered around the house

Montebello Villa Hotel’s Grand Ballroom before the guests arrived

Golden Celebration. 50 years in the making

As part of the excellent service in Montebello, we got a complimentary one-night stay at Premiere Suite. Our relative Luis Alvarez, who runs the hotel, went above and beyond by personally checking of each bottle of wine. For the videos, we had greetings from (then) presumptive President Rodrigo Duterte and New York-based relatives Tita Zenda and Tito Iman. Also present at the party were Mom’s and Dad’s original Maid-of-Honor Elma Muangkroot and Best Man Ferdie Jakosalem, who both gave rousing speeches of love and admiration.

Mom Nelia & Dad Julius with some photos and artwork of Jovi in the background

Our Roles and Responsibilities

Jj was the calm sounding board for our ideas. Lotlot was the master planner. Candice handled the food and the rest of the major details. For the invitation crystals and envelope printing, Justin was in charge. Jovi restored two 50-year old wedding pictures and made a pen and ink drawing, all of which we used as major decoration for the party. All the brothers (Jed, JJ, Jovi, and Justin) contributed equally to the party expense.

My husband Jovi thanking his parents

Part of my responsibility was to call Tita Zenda and Tito Iman in New York for the video greeting. During the party, I was in charge of the projector. The grandchildren, Nini and Mikkel, were performers/ party hosts. Nessi had a surprise violin solo, an instrument she started learning only a month ago. Pio, Julian, and Isabel performed 50’s/60’s songs such as Something Stupid, Can’t Help Falling In Love, Que Sera Sera, and Love Me Tender.

I’m amazed by this talented bunch. I’ll ever get tired of hearing them play.

Yet, it’s never been about the décor or the food. It was about how every member of the Neri and Garcia family came together to make an event full of love and how we all pooled our resources and individual strengths to celebrate two amazing people we call family. Thanks to my Mom Nelia and Julius for not only loving us but being a living testament of what love is all about.

Jovi, Julius, Nelia and yours truly

About the Author

Crystal Neri is a freelance writer who has worked across media platforms in places as diverse as US, Singapore, and Australia. She lives in Cebu City where she covers travel and entrepreneurship at crystalneri.com. Say Hi to her (@nericrystal) on Twitter and Instagram. Subscribe to her newsletter:

The post The Story Of Our Parents’ Surprise Anniversary Party appeared first on Crystal Neri.

“You accept the love you think you deserve.” -Stephen Chbosky

Today is Jovi’s 38th birthday. We have been together for over 8 years now (and married for four months!) Being the most influential person in my life, here are 38 lessons my love has taught me: 

1. To not care about what other people think. Studies show that intelligent people are better at resisting peer pressure. Jovi is a walking marvel of a no-care attitude. I used to think that’s his personality, but now I understand it’s a side effect of being smart. 

2. Think like you’re in the other person’s shoe. Not caring about other people’s opinions does not mean stop empathizing with them. In college, I was bickering about my golf coach, until Jovi patiently explained to me that her job depends on team performance or she’ll get fired. It’s hard for a kid to think that way, but Jovi taught me how.

3. Eat in moderation. I’m one of those wives who eat more than their husbands. Jovi eats one big meal a day while I eat like 5 times. Not only he is more resistant to peer pressure, he knows how to keep his appetite under control.

4. Exercise! Love running. In 2009, Jovi was weak and fat. He got into running and going to the gym and never looked back. Today, he runs 20K-40K a week. I still hate running and do HIIT’s on my own, but it inspires me to see my husband so belligerent about cardio. 

17. “Iwas gulo.” This phrase is a joke between us that means, ‘avoid fights.’ Jovi had got my patterns down – from what makes me mad (hunger), to what times I get hungry, and all other little things that instigate fights. He knows what those are by now and applies precaution. Smart man.

“Marriage is not about having a dinner companion. It’s about about sharing meals with the same person 38,327 times.” – The Atlantic

18. Separate work from life. Despite all of Jovi’s responsibilities, he does an excellent job with work-life balance. He does not bring work at home. He knows how to relax and to prioritize working out daily.

19. Love animals. We have two mini-pinchers, Tweetie and Jingle. Jovi plays with them every morning.

20. Cleanliness is next to Godliness.

27. Be sentimental about things. Jovi has a ‘Crystal’ folder than contains everything I gave him in the last 8 years. Heck, he still even uses his 20-year old pants! 

28. How to park the Land Cruiser in tight spaces. After I bumped the car once, he patiently spent one afternoon in Amara teaching me parking skills.

29. Be up-to-date with gadgets. Aside from being golf equipment nerd, Jovi spends a lot of his time reading gadget reviews.

30. Always expect the worst-case scenario. 

 

31. Don’t just say yes right away. In fact, say no. Gretchen Rubin calls people like Jovi ‘questioners.’ When you tell them anything, their first inclination is to ask why because they won’t do it if it’s not logical to them. As a wife, this is annoying. But this thinking has saved us in wedding planning and family holidays.

32. Use consistent verb tenses. I write for a living and my lawyer husband is my proof-reader.

33. Learn to draw. I went to art school, but I never learned how to draw. Jovi draws so well we think he might do it commercially when he’s older. Maybe drawing is something Jovi can teach to our future child instead.

34. How to hate things with passion. Being passive all the time is not good. 

 

35. Share your food. I grew up in house where food must be guarded or it will be taken away. Jovi would rather starve than hog food. One day, he gave away all the calzones we bought to my niece. I cried a little bit inside, but it’s a stepping stone in becoming more generous.

36. Know the life story of all superheroes. Did I mention he’s also a comic book geek?

37. Know how to keep secrets. This is side effect of having a lawyer as a spouse.

38. How to love without being a floor mop. The tendency for couples with big age gaps like ours, is that one spouse overrules. In contrast, Jovi and are teammates. I tried to pull the strings once, asking for his belt. He goes, “Why can’t you just buy your own?” I love how my man knows how to stand up for what is fair; it also teaches me to be assertive on my own. 

P.S. Hopefully this post and a Sour Cream Coffee Bundt cake are enough as birthday presents. 

 

The post 38 Life Lessons From My Husband appeared first on Crystal Neri.

Then, I had to move to San Diego, a city where I had zero network. If you’ve ever tried looking at job boards, you might as well sob in despair. Despite my honest qualifications, I was about 80% under-qualified in producing media jobs. They require 2-5 year industry experience. As the irony goes: 

“You need a job to get experience, but you need experience to get a job.”

Selfie from my desk. Double-screen, ergonomic chair, etc. and work is only from 6AM to noon.

Turning Point

When I came back from a vacation/engagement, I reached a turning point: find a job within a month or move back to the Philippines. But I have to give it 100% because I do need the experience and savings before I settle down.

I armed myself the best way I know how – read books. Two of them helped: One is Katie Couric’s, “Best Advice I Ever Got.” For the nights that I cried out of frustration, it helped to learn about how extraordinary people shaped their lives in their 20’s. Two is “New Marketing and PR Rules” by David Meerman Scott. He discussed tangible steps of an effective job search. A tip that actually landed me a job: follow up with after interviews emails until they are clear to turn you down. 

Finally, I was called in a second job interview, one that offered me a salary on the spot. I knew that moment I stepped in that I wanted to work there. New building, calm office, full studio, and friendly hosts. I accepted the offer.

What I Do For A Living

As a programming assistant for Money Biz Life Network, I research stories for the hosts, transfer callers to the studio, and edit the show for web upload. Recently, I’ve also started working on producing a sports commentary by Lee Hacksaw. These are the top two most amusing things about my job:

1. I’m awestruck at the enunciation and charm of TV hosts. As their colleague, I get to talk to them and see them work magic everyday.

2. People from all over the US call us for financial advice. One retiree goes: “I need help…. What should I do with my $2 million?” And he was so sincere in his query.

Everyday, our hosts and manager say “Thanks for your help, Crystal.” I read massive stories about horrible bosses, but there’s not even a hint of drama in our office. My colleagues come to work, play music, run to the studio laughing two minutes before broadcast starts. Professional and kind, if I were to summarize my work environment.

What’s Next?

When I was in school, all I wanted was to graduate. When I did, I got anxious about job hunting. When I found a job, I worried about earning more. As Gretchen Rubin said in “The Happiness Project”:

“We are all constantly in different stages of happiness.”

In hindsight, I shouldn’t have been afraid of finding work. The common phrase from my graduating friends is: “I just need the stability of a job.” That stability comes with routine (for me, waking up at 4:50 AM everyday)  and this question: “What’s next for me?”

I’m obsessed about life-long learning, from Dan Coyle’s LARP theory to Cal Newport’s emphasis on deliberate practice. In fact, I’m currently enrolled at a Duke University MOOC on writing.

I did something two days ago that gave me an emotional high: volunteering for the OneDayInSanDiego project. I crafted questions for two veterans of Workshop for Warriors, drove to different locations, and worked with a filmmaker and a sound guy. One of them said at lunch: “What did you study in college? No wonder you sounded so natural.”

Here is San Diego Mayor Kevin Faulconer and filmmaker Jodi Cilley after our interview:

Mayor Kevin Faulconer (middle) attended a home building project in Ocean Beach.  Filmmaker extraordinaire, Jodi Cilley (right), urged me to help with the One Day In San Diego Project. I constantly volunteer to refresh my producing chops.

Cal Newport‘ sums it best. According to him, there are three main components for great work:

1. Impact – When your work positively affects people or the world
2. Creativity – When your work enables to you personalize, deconstruct, think, and create
3. Control – When your work allows you to be flexible in terms growth

That’s a tall order for a 23-year old. I’m sure even or older folks! So, I am not there yet. But this is a lifelong thing anyway. I’m leaving you with Pope Francis’ remarkable take on work:

The post A 23-Year Old Finding Work appeared first on Crystal Neri.

Buffet breakfast with my perennial date.

Gotta love Davao, a progressive city. No smoking policy, metered taxi cabs, and wide, clean roads.

One morning, I snuck out to try the pool and jacuzzi.

A villa in an exclusive island is only around $300/night. Say what, Vegas?

Davao is Jovi’s favorite place because that’s where he learned he passed the Bar exam, played his lowest round in PAL there, and won it with the team last year. On our last day in Davao, Jovi hired a taxi cab to drive us to the Philippine Eagle Center. In a small rain shed filled with mosquitos and mud, he kneeled down and asked:

“Tal, will you marry me?”

I was more stunned about the ring that I didn’t answer for a few seconds. I even thought the whole thing was a joke. But there he was, Jovi, scared and sweaty that I might say no. How could I? God had given me the perfect man to be my partner for life.

Jovi and I shortly after the proposal. Beneath the Malagos Farm’s, “Lover’s sculpture.”

Truth to be told, I would marry Jovi without an engagement ring. He often jokes about doing a civil wedding in the Liloan City Hall. Or a quick and cheap ceremony in Las Vegas. I actually wouldn’t mind that. He didn’t even need to propose, because my answer would be always be a yes.

In Jovi, I found a generous, self-less person who is phenomenal in taking care of me. Love, in all sense of the word — being a good influence, accepting my tragedies and quirks, to keeping my feet on the ground wherever I was in the world. And also because he promised me a lifetime supply of puto bumbong. Hahaha

The next few days were a blur of friends barraging us about the proposal story, the giant ring, and wedding plans. My last day in Cebu was spent with his close friends in the Buyong beach house, sipping wine with kids playing on the side, and warning me: “You better be used to this.” I’m marrying not only Jovi, but the context of his life. When I move to Cebu later in the year, I still wouldn’t understand Bisaya perfectly. Nor am I assured that I’d adapt so easily.

Some of my friends are still in school, many still swimming in the dating scene. Am I too young? I still have personal matters to tend to in San Diego. Nevertheless, I said yes. It would have been had Jovi asked me earlier or even if this happened years in the future. It was inevitable, this is the man I’d marry anyway. And anywhere. 

Cheers, Jovi Neri!  

The post Notes about my holiday trip to the Philippines (Part 2) appeared first on Crystal Neri.

Highlights of my 35-day trip to the Philippines. First up, renovating the house and bringing my siblings to Cebu.

 

——

 

When I arrived in Dasmarinas, Cavite on December 18th, I came home to a house half-filled with cement and some furniture. My family just moved out to a partially finished house. The kitchen floor needed tiles; the window was covered by a piece of wood. Within ten days, we finished the floor and window and painted the dining room. We moved out of the old house, cleaned, varnished the cabinets and purchased supplies. Thanks to my best friend Jonathan, who was a house guest but turned out to be a carpenter. It was my responsibility to create a comfortable home for my siblings, and I did. After some coughs and feverish bouts, I flew to Cebu.

 

For the last three years, I’ve been spending New Year’s Eve with Jovi and his family. This trip is different — for the first time, I’m bringing all my siblings with me. I promised them lots of new friends, food and ocean.

 

Wolen and Mikkel, on our way to Kaw-oy

Ace swam in the ocean for the first time. Ces took the cob webs out of her bathing suit.

We did all the touristy Cebu stuff, then jumped from one family lunch to another.

Ces doing the cover story for Philippine Inquirer Golf

The number one ranked golfer in the country! Keep it up, baby cakes.

 

 There were my loves — Princess bantering with Jovi, Ace trying to speaking in english to Mikkel and Pio, and Wolen gnawing on Conching’s and tablea tsokolate. Even Jovi’s dad took out their boat, “Jersey Girl,” to take us to lunch at Kaw-oy. I felt so happy that my siblings are finally witness to what I do in Cebu, to how Jovi and his family take good care of me, and simply, how Cebu life is in the holidays. A few weeks later, my grandmother reveals to me that Ace “wants to buy tickets back to Cebu already.”

(To be continued…)

 

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